Emily. 24. INFJ Put-A-Bird-On-it, Oregon. Funny. Sarcastic. Thoughtful. Overly excited. My life is stupid enough.
  • Totally Unserious

    What will it take to get you into this rhino anus today?

  • posted: 3 hours ago    with: 3,929 notes    (source / via)
    posted: 5 hours ago    with: 1,946 notes    (source / via)
    posted: 5 hours ago    with: 36,307 notes    (source / via)

    "After wrapping Guardians of the Galaxy I was very homesick and I was coming home to my wife and my son, who at the time was 13 months old. My wife told me ‘Hey, listen there’s a chance he may not recognize you and he may be a little shy’ and so I came in there, and he just sat right up and had this big smile on his face. He started saying ‘Daddy, daddy, daddy!’ and I just started to cry. He saw the tears in my eyes and started doing bits to make me laugh and that just made me cry more."

    - Chris Pratt on the best day of his life.

    posted: 7 hours ago    with: 398 notes    (source / via)
    posted: 8 hours ago    with: 3,301 notes    (source / via)

Artist: Watson Atkinson
Twine St. Portland, Maine
White Ink


    Artist: Watson Atkinson

    Twine St. Portland, Maine

    White Ink

    posted: 8 hours ago    with: 2,532 notes    (source / via)


    Geoff (impersonating Ryan): “Oh, I’m Ryan… PC… Computers.”
    Ryan: “I’d do an impression of you, but I don’t have a dick in my mouth.”

    posted: 9 hours ago    with: 398,337 notes    (source / via)




    A man just walked past me and said “excuse me, but you look very nice tonight darlin” I said thank you and he said you’re welcome and walked off. And that is how you compliment a woman without harassing them

    No, that is still unsolicited, and thus, harassment. No amount of “darlins” is gonna make me not want to punch your ass for coming on to me without provocation.




    posted: 9 hours ago    with: 77,744 notes    (source / via)
    posted: 13 hours ago    with: 417,325 notes    (source / via)
    posted: 13 hours ago    with: 276,081 notes    (source / via)


    radicalrebellion: feministcaptainmorgan: baronsledjoys: firecannotkillafitblr:

    This drives me mad. I used to work in a bookstore, and was talking to my coworker and he just yelled out “stop flirting with me!” at this ridiculous volume and it was humiliating because
    1. I wasn’t
    2. I got in trouble for acting unprofessional
    3. He embarrassed me in front of a line of people
    4. And he only stopped insisting that I was flirting when my boyfriend (who is now my husband) said, “dude, trust me, she’s not flirting with you” to him

    That asshole respected my BOYFRIEND saying I wasn’t flirting more than he respected me saying it and I was the one who was talking! The whole scene got me in trouble at work. And the most ridiculous part is we were talking about a fucking book. In a bookstore.

    One time, my ex boyfriend had a crush on some girl, and said that he thought he might have “a chance” with her.

    When I asked him what made him think that, he said “Well, she talks to me.”

    And this is why it is so difficult to be a girl and be friends with men who are attracted to women.

    Can we also add that this is why a lot of women do the resting bitch face when out in public. Cause dudes swear a glance or a smile is flirting.

    So yesterday something that perfectly illustrates this happened. I work at a fast food place and this guy comes in at 7am on a Sunday, still probably drunk from the night before, and when I smiled and said goodmorning he said “Did you just say that because you’re being paid to say that?” 

    I repressed my urge to sarcastically answer, and said “Nope, I just enjoy saying hi to everyone!” To which he responded, “Oh, so you weren’t flirting with me then.”

    Dude, I’m not flirting with your gross 7am-on-a-Sunday-ass, trust me.

    My defense mechanism when I’m uncomfortable at work is to smile, so I did that and said “Is there anything I can get you this morning?” to which he responded,

    "There, you just smiled! What does that mean?"

    At this point I was fed up, so I said, 

    "I smile at everyone sir, its just what I do. What can I get you, coffee, a bagel?"

    And he said “I’m gonna be watching to see if you smile at everyone. I don’t like it when girls lie to me” and then ordered a coffee and a muffin like he hadn’t just said something at 11 on the “Is this guy a serial rapist” scale (where 0 is ‘no’ and 10 is ‘Yes, run away as fast as you can right now.”).

    Then he sat there for another hour and a half, staring at me from his table. When he got up and left he came back to the counter, and said “You do smile at everyone. That’s fucked up.” and walked out.

    I can’t even be innocuously polite and pleasant to people at my job (where customer service is the number one thing we are supposed to be focusing on) for fear of this shit happening. What happens if he had decided to wait until my shift was over? 

    New Rule: If she’s at work, SHE’S NOT FLIRTING WITH YOU.